This is the day that the Lord (and the school district) has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!!
My ears are ringing from the silence in our house…the first day of school. Whew, a little routine and some quiet moments is a welcome respite for me! Every 365 days, the world celebrates the New Year with fireworks, champagne toasts, and New Year’s resolutions. But for me, my new year starts at the beginning of a school year. The first day of school represents a change in our family’s life more than January 1. The only sadness from this mama is the reminder that the freight train of time cannot be stopped or even slowed down. I am reminded of passing time, more than ever, as my children move on to the next grade.
With a new year comes resolutions. And my resolution is ‘to do’ LESS… easier said than done. I am a slave to my ‘To Do’ list. I keep a general ‘To Do’ list, a ‘To Do This Week’ list, and a ‘To Do Today’ list…each item with it’s own reminders and deadlines. Without my lists, I would chase my tail in circles getting very little accomplished. But unfortunately, my ‘to do’s get in the way of my heart. And all to often, I look for my worth in my ability to get through my lists. My selfish pride is rooted in what I have accomplished that day.
However, I know deep in my heart that when I pass through the gates of heaven to meet Jesus, He’s NOT going to say, “Well done my good and faithful servant…you were so well organized, and you really tackled that ‘To Do’ list every day. Nice work.” No, that’s not what life is all about. I need to focus more on my ‘To Be’ list, my ‘To Feel’ list, my ‘To Love’ list.
I want to be gentle, patient and kind…even when I’m overwhelmed.
I want to feel empathetic and considerate…even when I’m rushed or busy.
I want to love the person who is in closest proximately to me…whether it’s my child getting in my personal space with sticky hands or the person in front of me in line at the grocery store (with a very large cart, multiple coupons and a checkbook.) I want to actively love my husband, my children, and my parents. Isn’t it ironic that sometimes it’s hardest to intentionally love those who we actually love the most?
Although, I know will not find my worth in being, feeling or loving either. I find my worth in being loved…not by my parents or my husband, my children or my friends. My worth is found in the deep love of God. My worth is felt in the presence of God, my anchor and my one true source of joy and abundant life. I was created with longings that cannot be satisfied, other than through experiencing the fullness of God.
In just a few quiet moments of intimidate presence with my God, I am allowing Him to work His ‘To Do’ list on me. -Make her more patient. -Make her more gentle. -Make her more loving. -Fill her with My joy. …No doubt a reoccurring list that He delights in each day.
My ‘To Do’ list is certainly not the answer to an abundant life. I really, truly, want ‘to be’, ‘to feel’, and ‘to love’ more than I want ‘to do.’ But the first step is letting God do His thing.
“God’s presence is real, full of love, and completely transformational. It takes what was broken and brings healing. It takes what was lost and guides us to our rightful place in the Father. It satisfies the weary, brings light to the darkness, and pours out the refreshing rain of God’s love on the driest, deepest parts of the soul.” Craig Denison, First 15.
So, for me it’s resolution time. Because less is more in so many ways. Less leaves space to be, to feel, and to love.