Apr 28

The Face of God

One Sweet Little Face

“All of God’s grace…in one sweet little face.”

I’ve had this picture of our first-born, above, framed in our home for six years. I look at it just about every day. But yesterday I saw the photograph and the quote on the frame in a different light.

Last week, in the book Sparkly Green Earrings, I read Melanie Shankle’s account of her daughter’s birth. She wrote about one of my absolute favorite moments I have ever experienced…that moment when a newborn baby was placed on my chest for the very first time, just seconds after birth. It’s simply magical. There is no other instance in life (that I know of) when such great physical pain and such immense joy intersect so quickly. Shankle writes,

“I stared in wonder at this little pink gift, this tiny person fresh from heaven. It was as if I could still smell the angels on her, like I was looking straight into the face of God.”

The newborn days have passed. Now, we are in the full-blown toddler phase with our twins. And we are trying to figure out how to shepherd our young boys into respectful young men. I’ll be honest…the toddler thing wears me out. Especially as we double down on the ‘terrible twos’ with this interesting twin dynamic.

But even in the midst of their messiness…and in the midst of my messiness… these toddlers are a fabulous example and reminder of my relationship with God. Even now, as I look into their sweet (and dirty) little faces, I feel as if I am looking into the face of God.

Sometimes, my toddler reminds me of myself.

I remember years ago, someone told me that thinking we can take hold of a situation in life without God’s leading is about as realistic as a two-year-old trying to make pancakes on their own. Every day, I hear my daughter say, “I do it!” or, “No, mama, all by myself.” Her desire for independence is a good thing. But, when we are doing something as messy as making pancakes…it’s just a disaster. And so it is when I try to take over my own life and attempt to navigate life’s challenges and unexpected turns “all by myself”. When I’m not leaning on God, relying on Him to carry me through life, my life can get as messy as a toddler making pancakes.

Sometimes, my toddler reminds me of God.

Again, my daughter comes to mind. Our two-year-old son plays independently. He will actually ride his tricycle in the driveway or simply look at bugs alone in the yard. But my sweet girl…she pursues me relentlessly. If I’m working on the computer, she wants to be in my lap. If I’m folding laundry, she wants to be sitting right there on the counter talking my ear off. She simply wants to be near me. She wants me to be in her presence. Sometimes I get frustrated…I mean – it would be nice to go to the bathroom or take a shower alone occasionally. In the midst of a moment of frustration yesterday, I saw the light and was flattered by it. The girl just loves me. Each week in church, we say a silent prayer praising God for His mercy and His tenacious love. My child’s tenacious love for me is just a tiny taste of the love that God has for me. He simply wants to be near me. He wants me to be in His presence. I am incredibly thankful that, despite my bullheadedness, My God pursues me relentlessly too. “Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life…” Psalm 23:6 (The Message)

As Melanie Shankle continued to reminisce about her experience with the pain of childbirth in contrast with the joy of her new precious baby girl, she wrote,

“I realized this whole process was such a striking picture of how Christ works in us. He takes our disappointments, rejections, and hard times, and he makes something beautiful…He blesses us beyond our imaginations, in spite of all the broken roads we’ve walked. In fact, maybe he blesses us so lavishly because of all the broken roads we’ve traveled.” In regards to her new baby, she wrote, “I looked at her and saw perfection. And love. And mercy. And grace. I had never seen the hand of God more clearly in all my life.”

In my experience with newborns, toddlers and small children, I can vouch. When I take a moment to stop and admire their sweet little faces, these precious children remind me of God’s incredible grace. Whether you have a child, a grandchild, or a little friend — I encourage you to take a good look into their face this week and find God.

Despite my desire to make pancakes on my own…And despite by my foolishness to think I could ever be better off outside of the presence of God – He shows me His mercy. His grace. And only because of the perfect life, gruesome death, and miraculous resurrection of Jesus – when God looks at me, He sees perfection. Just like a parent with their newborn.

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“We are children, perhaps, at the very moment when we know that it is as children that God loves us – not because we have deserved his love and not in spite of our undeserving; not because we try and not because we recognize the futility of our trying; but simply because he has chosen to love us. We are children because he is our father; and all of our efforts, fruitful and fruitless, to do good, to speak truth, to understand, are the efforts of children who, for all their precocity, are children still in that before we loved him, he loved us, as children, through Jesus Christ our lord.”
― Frederick Buechner, The Magnificent Defeat
Apr 21

Abundant Living: Eat, Drink, & Be Merry

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Happy Easter and Merry Spring! The trees are blooming and patio weather is upon us. The gloom of Lent is passed, and on Easter, we celebrated the risen Christ…a God who is truly pleased when we find deep joy in the gifts He has given us. Yesterday was a HAPPY day, but it doesn’t end there.

Several months ago, I heard a sermon at Christ Church Santa Fe  based on Ecclesiastes 5:18-20.

“This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them…this is a gift of God…”                      (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 NIV)

This encouraging scripture reassures us that it is a good thing to find joy in the gifts that God gives us. I find one of God’s absolute greatest gifts to be community…the people in my life. And with them – I love to eat, drink, and be merry.

Forming deep relationships and close community, however, requires intentionality and vulnerability. But the rewards of being merry together are well worth the effort put into our relationships.

As I have made it no secret, my friends and my amazing husband are a gift and a deep joy to me. Renowned scholar, author, and speaker Brené Brown, in her TED Talk on The Power of Vulnerability states that connection with other people is the reason we are here. She says that connection gives purpose and meaning to our lives. I agree. In addition to loving God with all our hearts, we are called to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:36-39). It’s pretty hard to fulfill that commandment without connecting regularly with the people around us. In addition, Brown says that the kind of people who have a true sense of worthiness and a strong sense of love and belonging [in community] are those who believe they are worthy of love and belonging. I totally agree.

The verse that inspired this blog, Ephesians 3:17-19 says, “I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” When we know this deep love of Christ, our sense of worthiness is brought to a whole new level.

Brown says that people who have a true sense of worthiness are ‘whole-hearted’. She says that what these whole-hearted people have in common is a sense of courage. She points out that courage and bravery are not the same. Courage comes from a Latin word and the original definition was ‘to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart’. Brown says that these whole-hearted folks

“have the courage to be imperfect with each other. They have connection as a result of authenticity. They are willing to let go of who they should be in order to be who they [are]. The other thing they have in common: they fully embrace vulnerability. Being vulnerable is the willingness to say ‘I love you’ first…the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees…the willingness to invest in relationships that may or may not work out.”

This kind of whole-heartedness, based on courage and vulnerability, is an essential building block for the best of friendships and the tightest of communities.

There are plenty of great examples of holy vulnerability in the Bible. In her article, On Why Being Vulnerable is a Beautiful Thing, based on John 12, Caroline Coleman names a few examples: Mary, as she pours valuable perfume on Jesus’ feet and wipes them with her hair. David, with his “desperate honest vulnerable cries for help” in the Psalms. And, of course, Jesus as he cries out to His Abba Father on the cross.  According to Coleman, Jesus encourages all of us towards a life in which we make ourselves vulnerable to God and to others.

“He’s saying that true fulfillment doesn’t come the way we think it does – through our striving, achieving, conquering and acquiring. True joy and fulfillment comes through sacrificing ourselves for others. It comes through being vulnerable even to those who reject us. It comes through pouring out ourselves for others, and trusting God to fill us back up.” Coleman continues, “We can embrace others in love, not needing anything from them, because our hearts are overflowing – our cups runneth over – with the love of God, a love that we find only when everything else in the world fails us. This is abundant living.”

So, as Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 states, let’s embrace the abundant living that God encourages. I find this sweet way of life to be best amongst my community of friends and family. And when I remember that I am always worthy because of the wide and deep love that Christ has for me, I find it a little easier to be vulnerable…to connect with others in a way I can show them my love…to find that whole-hearted courage that brings authenticity to relationships.

Ecclesiastes Chapter 5, Verse 20 says, “God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart.” So this Spring, find a patio or a table where you can soak up the gift of community with friends and family. With gladness of heart, pour yourselves into each other.

Eat, drink, and be merry.

Apr 12

Taking Up Too Much Space?

Portebois Home

Sitting in an antique claw foot tub with a spray nozzle to wash my hair, I was cold and homesick. A 17-year-old girl, I felt like I was in an alternate universe; when in fact, I was just 4,400 miles from home. I actually wondered if I would ever be in my own home with my own family, speaking my own native language again. I was in Fontenay-le-Comte, France. My family had arranged an exchange through a mutual acquaintance for me to spend one month with a French family. The French daughter, Coralie, would then return home to Georgia with me to stay with my family. After a weeklong trip with my high school classmates, my teachers and friends dropped me off on an unfamiliar train station platform in the South of France and went home. I took the train to meet my new French ‘mother’.

Fontenay is a historic village (as in, it has ruins from a medieval castle) dans le beau Pays de la Loire. The Portebois family was gracious, but they weren’t mine. And while the claw foot tub was beautiful, I yearned for my own factory-made tub and shower that was installed in our family home in 1980. The beautiful three level home had three wings, built respectively over the last three centuries. I wasn’t roughing it.  The French mother was nurturing, understanding and lovely. But she didn’t look, smell, or hug me like my mom did. She spoke English, but we had an understanding that she wouldn’t speak my native tongue with me, unless necessary. I, being one who tended to stuff my emotions, would go days without calling my parents in an effort to stay strong. Then, I would call my mom and burst into tears as my homesickness erupted from my heart into my desperate words.

We gathered around the table for family meals, just as my own family did. But while we lingered over long lunches in the courtyard, (and the father enjoyed wine on his lunch break as a physician) I missed my mom’s cooking. I missed sitting in our usual places around my family’s round table with my parents and big brother. I would have given anything to have my mom’s americanized lasagna or chicken finger salad. Instead, I was expanding my horizons with ratatouille and moules. After one particular meal, they asked me if I wanted more food. I responded with ‘no thank you – I’m full.’ Only, I had really told them, in French, that I was pregnant. Needless to say, they got a good laugh, and I tried to laugh with them.

There was a pool in the middle of the fabulous garden. I had all day to sit by it, but no big brother to dunk me or lifelong friends to play Marco Polo with. They had one tv, so I watched soccer because I didn’t need to understand the narration. Life with the Portebois family was actually not all that drastically different from what I was used to, despite how hard it was for me to see at the time. I, simply, was way out of my comfort zone. I never regretted that month in France away from my family, even when I was there. Part of my young, 17-year-old self realized that my horizons were expanding and that was healthy. I knew that if I ever made it back home, I would never again feel the same way about the phrase, ‘there’s no place like home’. I have no doubt that Coralie felt the same way when she left Georgia. While she was with us, she got to go to the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. And she helped us name our new Dalmatian puppy ‘Tache’ – ‘spot’ in French. But I bet she couldn’t wait to get back to her mama’s ratatouille and her claw foot tub.

I remember the plane ride home to Georgia with Coralie. I joyfully announced that our mode of communication would officially be switching to English. But the funny thing is, I don’t remember my reunion with my family. Or the first meal I ate in my own familiar universe. But I do still vividly remember my experiences with the Portebois family that summer in France, nearly two decades ago. My world got a little bigger. I didn’t approach that trip with any great teen-filled wisdom that I would grow. But I am proud of my young self for taking that risk to be just a little bit uncomfortable. And, ever since, I have valued that incredible experience.

Almost 20 years later, I still realize the benefits of stretching my comfort zone. But I certainly don’t do it enough. I’d say I’m in a stage of life where stretching my comfort zone is going to the grocery store with all four kids. I surround myself with ‘PLU’s’ (people like us), and we live in our comfortable bubble. Reminiscing on my experiences has made me think about how I can try to stretch my comfort zone in my life now, even within my own city. You don’t have to go 4,400 miles to stretch yourself. It’s not always comfortable, but that’s the point.  I have to be reminded of my God who provides comfort in all situations:  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9.  I would imagine that promise especially applies when we are out of our comfort zone.

In this short film (less than 4 minutes), “A Life Well Lived“, Jim Whittaker, the first American to summit Mount Everest, shares some valuable life lessons. He says that “if you’re not living life on the edge, then you’re taking up too much space.” It’s not about thrill seeking, he notes, but about testing yourself. He adds that people learn the most when they are out of their comfort zone. “Being out on the edge, with everything at risk, is where you learn and grow the most.” Whittaker points us to a life well lived.  Whether we are pushing physical limits, exploring new places and cultures, forming relationships or serving people not like us, or simply trying something new, I agree that expanding our comfort zone is a healthy thing. Sure, ‘there’s no place like home’. But it doesn’t hurt to venture out. What about you…are you taking up too much space?

“You are only confined by the walls you build yourself.”                         – Andrew Murphy

“A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are for.”                – William G.T. Shedd

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” – Mark Twain

Mar 31

“Lean on Me” and Encouragement for Mañana

I love music. It speaks to me. It encourages me. It inspires me. It calms me. It energizes me. I have a playlist for just about any mood. I have a God Tunes Playlist that I never tire of. But, I also have music from many other genres that speak into my life. I confess – Pitbull and Christina Aguilera have pulled me out of a funk and gotten me going on multiple occasions.

The musicians on the worship team at Christ Church Santa Fe do an awesome rendition of “Lean on Me” (originally written, recorded and released by Bill Withers in 1972). If you haven’t heard this song in a while, you gotta click on the link to hear Withers do his thing. I was so pumped the first time I ever heard our talented folks perform this classic song during a worship service. I wish you could hear their version too. I was moved by their insight to use this Billboard No. 1 hit (long before I was a twinkle in my parents eyes, I might add) as a worship song.

“Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain, we all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there’s always tomorrow

Lean on me when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend, I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on”

What great lyrics, huh? No doubt, we all have pain. We all have sorrow. In addition to leaning on God, we need people in our lives to lean on. And friends will need to lean on us too. I personally can’t imagine navigating through life’s twists, turns, challenges, and sorrows without the amazing people who have given me their ear and shared their wisdom, encouragement, and shoulder to lean on. I can only pray that God equips me with the ability to reciprocate in a way that my friends can lean on me too.

In March of 2013, I read a really great devotional, She Reads Truth: Philippians, about the Apostle Paul and his gift of encouragement. The writer shared that through the book of Philippians, Paul displays an “overarching and very apparent theme of joy, gratitude and prayer for others.” For me, there is no question that Paul is the kind of person I would want to have as my friend. The devotional continued, “He is thinking big-picture, long-term, Kingdom work. And on his heart is the business of encouragement.”

Wouldn’t it be great if we could be that kind of friend? One who doesn’t get bogged down by the details, worked up about injustices…the kind of friend who can really just help others to see the big picture and encourage them to endure. The tune and lyrics to “Lean on Me” stuck with me all day yesterday. When I thought about what would make me be the kind of friend that someone would want to lean on, Paul came to mind. I remembered the She Reads Truth devotional that touched me over a year ago. Here’s my favorite part:

“He doesn’t tell them to expect things to get easier or better or simpler. He just encourages them where they are, with a sure confidence to remember the bigger picture to persevere. That all the good that has begun in that community is pointing to something greater the day of Jesus Christ.”

Paul doesn’t sugar coat the situatin, but reminds us of the Truth that all that has begun leads to a greater day in Christ (Philippians 1:6). In the first stanza of “Lean on Me”, Bill Withers wrote that if we are wise, we know that there’s always tomorrow. Neither the Apostle Paul nor Bill Withers are trying to be like Annie – “The sun will come out tomorrow…” They are talking big-picture here. In Santa Fe, ‘mañana’ often does NOT literally mean ‘tomorrow’. It just means later. Paul doesn’t promise things will get easier the day after today. But he does provide great encouragement for his friends.

I’m so thankful for my friends who have been there for me to help me see the big picture at times when I’ve needed someone to lean on. I was inspired by the She Reads Truth devotional last Spring, to think about how I can be a better encourager. Perhaps this is a season of leaning for you. If so, choose shoulders wisely, and lean on. But chances are that someone you interact with this week will need a should to lean on. Please join me in considering ways to be an encourager. I think it’s fair to say that if one wants to be in “the business of encouragement”, like Paul, then a theme of “joy, gratitude, and prayer for others” is a pretty good place to start.

“You just call on me, brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you’ll understand
We all need somebody to lean on”

Speaking of songs – “Sing for joy, O heavens! Rejoice, O earth! Burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD has comforted his people and will have compassion on them in their suffering.” – Isaiah 49:13. I am thankful for the sweet shoulders I have to lean on when I need support. But I’m even more grateful and humbled that the Lord of the Universe, the One who created the mountains I see out my living room window, is my greatest encourager. He delights when I am still, when I seek His Presence, when I seek comfort and guidance from Him, first. This very God says, “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” –Psalm 32:8. That’s the kind of person I want to have as my friend too…One who has His loving eye on me and invites me to lean on Him any time.
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“But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,”…” –Hebrews 3:13

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but an encouraging word makes it glad.” –Proverbs 12:25

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” –Philippians 2:3-4

Mar 23

Most Favorite of Least Favorite Things

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I did one of my most favorite of least favorite things yesterday. I dug up cactuses. I guess the proper plural term would be cacti. At least that’s how my boys like to refer to them. We did a bit of spring cleaning in the yard. But really, it’s an ongoing process of clearing out and attempting to landscape after years of neglect.

I say least favorite because digging up cactus falls in the manual labor/heavy yard work category. And I really hate cactus. Just when you let your guard down, one of those spiny little suckers gets you good. I grew up in the Southeast. I suppose moms in the South regard poison ivy similarly to the way moms in the Southwest regard cactus. They hurt my children. About a week ago, my two-year-old complained for days about his knee hurting, until I finally realized he had a tiny cactus poke sticking out of it – mom of the year for not catching that one faster.  And the menacing succulents keep our kiddos from wanting to explore and play in their yard. Therefore, with the kid’s best interest in mind, I have taken on a ‘no cactus left behind’ policy…no matter how much I dislike the job of removing them. On the other hand, I say most favorite because, although it is a potentially painful process, digging up cactus is extremely rewarding. I have removed a major burden and stress, and the newly cleared area of our yard is inviting and safe.

So, as I was digging up six large trashcans full of these nasty guys, I couldn’t help but think how I could compare the cactus in our backyard to metaphorical ‘cactus’ in my heart and soul. Here’s what I knew: There are more cactus than I would have ever guessed in our yard. Some are big and clearly stand out. Some of the cacti are smaller, harder to see. And honestly, those low-lying ones hurt the worse…ask the dog…or the two-year-old. But they all hurt. And I think most of them are pretty ugly. As I mentioned, sometimes the removal process is pretty painful, but the end result of removing them is oh-so-rewarding.

Here’s what I learned when I Googled ‘cactus’ and researched a bit more on the very trusty Wikipedia site . A few facts particularly stood out:

  • Most cacti live in habitats subject to at least some drought…they can actually thrive when not being fed.
  • When a bit of rare Santa Fe precipitation does fall from the sky, these guys absorb water quickly during a rain storm and then store it away in their stems…precious nourishment that could feed the beautiful trees in our yard.
  • Cacti occur in a wide range of shapes and sizes.
  • They have a shallow root system.
  • Many cacti have short growing seasons and long dormancies. They pop up quickly and stick around until we do something about them.

Huh…more than a few similarities to the cactus in my life. So what are a few of my personal ‘cacti’?  Well, I won’t bore you with a long list. But one of the bigger cactus that really stands out like those huge prickly pairs in our yard is my lack of patience with my kids. I loose it…often. I snap at them. I raise my voice way too often. And too often, I’m sad to admit, I respond to them in a way that indicates that they are reeeally get on my nerves. When my daughter hears that impatient and frustrated tone when I say, “whaaaat!?!”, she usually responds with “I love you, Mommy.” Well, that’s enough to have me repenting on the spot.

Then, there are those low-lying cactus. The ones that aren’t easy to spot but are so very sharp. How about envy…envy that someone else has more than me. This envy doesn’t present itself openly, even to me. But the fact that I want what they have is bad enough. Or even envy that someone else has a totally different lifestyle than me. Looks fun. Looks carefree. Looks simple. Yeah, right. The grass is always greener on the other side. Or how about when I insist on my own way? Hesitant to listen to my husband’s ideas, even when they are better than mine (they most always are). Or, maybe insisting on my own way with friends because I’m not willing to step out of my routine or comfort zone to fully love or serve them.

All of the cactuses (sorry I just don’t like the word cacti) in our lives are ugly. They are sharp. They hurt others. They hurt ourselves. And they keep us from the ability to fully explore our potential. So, as I clear out another small section of the yard, I also think about how I can clear out the ugly succulents from my heart. They thrive in drought. When I don’t feed myself spiritually. When I don’t get the rest I need. When I don’t open my heart to the people around me and drink them in. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that they are called succulents. The cactuses in our hearts literally suck and store away the nourishment that the rest of our souls needs. And they even have the ability to lie dormant and present themselves at the worst of times.

But the good news is: the cactuses of our souls have a shallow root system, just like the real plant. They can be removed. It may take a little sweat. The process can be quite painful; we might get poked along the way. But not nearly painful as when we leave them planted in our hearts. For me, I have to lean on my faith when I encounter my ‘pokey’ flaws. I have to remember that love is patient. Love does not envy. Love does not insist on its own way. For me, I have to lean on the power of prayer to find this supernatural kind of love.

What are your cacti? The big ones? The low-lying ones? Can you feel them poking at your soul? I can. I invite you to join me in a bit of spring cleaning of the soul. It’s one of my most favorite of least favorite things to do. Although, I have a feeling that it’s on ongoing process…just like our yard work.

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Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends… ~1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Mar 15

Get REAL

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I’m the first to admit that most of my writing is simply commentary on other people’s brilliance – sermons, articles, devotionals or other blogs. This piece below was inspired in early August by the Girlfriends in God devotional on August 1 entitled ‘The Velveteen Woman’ by Sharon Jaynes, the Jesus Calling devotional for August 1, and the classic book, The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. Jaynes shared in her devotional about how The Velveteen Rabbit helps us understand the importance of being real, and I’d like to expand on that topic a bit. This post also hits on two of my favorite subjects…love and vulnerability.

I’m starting out with a long excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit. So, sit back, figuratively, in the chair from your childhood nursery or maybe the rocking chair in which you read to your own children and soak in these wise and classic words. You might pick up on a few things you didn’t when you were six years old.

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The classic children’s book, The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams reads:

“There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be; his coat was spotted brown and white, he had real thread whiskers, and his ears were lined with pink sateen. On Christmas morning, when he sat wedged in the top of the Boy’s stocking, with a sprig of holly between his paws, the effect was charming…

For at least two hours the Boy loved him…For a long time he lived in the toy cupboard or on the nursery floor, and no one thought very much about him. He was naturally shy, and being only made of velveteen, some of the more expensive toys quite snubbed him. The mechanical toys were very superior, and looked down upon every one else; they were full of modern ideas, and pretended they were real…The Rabbit could not claim to be a model of anything, for he didn’t know that real rabbits existed…Between them all, the poor little Rabbit was made to feel himself very insignificant and commonplace, and the only person who was kind to him at all was the Skin Horse.

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath…He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else.

‘What is REAL?’ asked the Rabbit one day…’ Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?’

‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’…’but once you are Real you can’t become unreal again. It lasts for always.”

When we are at our best, according to the ways of the world, we feel really splendid don’t we? Like the Rabbit on his first day in that Christmas stocking. But when we rely on the ‘charming effects’ of superficial means to happiness, it doesn’t take long to get snubbed and realize our efforts are not REAL. As the Rabbit becomes disenchanted with the superior ways of the mechanical toys, he begins to question, ‘What is REAL?’ The wise old Skin Horse shares with the Rabbit that REAL isn’t how you are made. It’s not how you look or who likes you; you are REAL because you are loved.

As I think of this love, I’m not reminded of the love from family or from friends either. You are REAL because you are loved immensely by the Creator of the universe. He REALLY loves you. Again, I am reminded of the verse that the title of my blog is based on – When you can “grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” (Ephesians 3:18), it’s much easier to get REAL, with yourself and with others. It is absolutely freeing.

The Skin Horse is keen to know how one can become REAL. But he really doesn’t tell the Rabbit what REAL is. REAL is being free to be your unique, individual self because you are made in the perfect image of our God. REAL is being vulnerable to God and to others…even if you risk pain or being a wee bit uncomfortable. REAL is being willing to share yourself, fully, without reservation. REAL is telling people how much you love them. REAL is showing grace to your neighbor or even your best friend who needs it too.

And as the truthful Skin Horse points out, even when you are REAL, you can get hurt. The world is broken. Even the people we are closest to can hurt us (and sadly, we hurt them too). But because our Reality is rooted in a loving, forgiving, and merciful Savior, He brings us peace beyond understanding that blunts the pain of this world. God has loved and planned for each of us since the beginning of time; He loves us despite the fact that we are shabby. And He protects us when we are REAL. Because of Jesus’ sacrificial love for us, when we are REAL, we cannot be ugly in God’s eyes. In fact, God thinks the REAL you is beautiful. And as the Skin Horse reminds us, Real lasts for always.

In addition, our friendships are most certainly all the more rewarding when we are REAL, when we let a bit of vulnerability in. There’s just no comparison. In her book, Carry On, Warrior, one of my favorite writers, Glennon Melton writes –

“I started thinking about all the time and effort I’d spent building protective layers between my broken heart and the broken world…I considered the ways I’d distanced myself from other people…I pulled on my secrets and shame like armor and carried my invulnerability like a weapon. There were so many layers of my armor and her armor between us that we couldn’t touch each other…Suddenly this all seemed completely ridiculous…I was lonely and a bit bored. Life without touching other people is boring as hell. It hit me that maybe the battles of life are best fought without armor and without weapons. That maybe life gets real, good, and interesting when we remove all the layers of protection we’ve built around our hearts and walk out onto the battlefield of life naked.”

I think both Glennon and the Skin Horse are on to something about living life REAL. When we get REAL, we reap incredible blessing from God, from friends, and from ourselves. The effect is really quite charming.

Just this very morning, our pastor, Martin, at Christ Church Santa Fe said, “If its not real, its not worth it.” He reminded us that Jesus is very REAL.  His tender grip on our hearts is REAL. Romans 8:38-39 says, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” That’s REAL. From the August 1 devotional of Jesus Calling – “Let this divine assurance trickle though your mind and into your heart and soul.”  And let’s be REAL together.

Mar 9

in This Home…

in This Home

A dear friend recently shared an article titled “11 Things I Wish Every Parent Knew” by Dr. Stephen Cowan from the website, mindbodygreen.com. There was all kinds of wisdom on this list. One point that particularly stood out to me was about growing in cycles. The article noted that ‘each stage of a child’s life is a time of new discovery of wonder.’ I hope, personally, that this time of new discovery and wonder never ends.

I don’t think I’m alone, as a young parent, to have little moments of wonder…I can’t believe I’m the parent and not the kid. Do I really qualify to be a parent? I hear myself say things like, “if you do that one more time…” or “because I said so” or “don’t lick that airplane seat,” and I really can’t believe that I’m the parent having to say that. What our kids don’t know is that, as parents, we are figuring this gig out as we go. The article says: “some children will take a step backward before making a giant leap forward.” Good thing our kids don’t realize how many steps we, as parents, take backwards too. And good thing our kiddos are extremely resilient.

Here is the best part. The article says: “Growing in cycles means that we don’t get just one chance to learn something. The same lesson will offer itself up to us again and again as we pass through the seasons of our life. There is deep forgiveness in this way of understanding childhood, which I find takes the pressure off parents to ‘get it right’ the first time.” Amen and amen.

We have a little sign that hangs right in the middle of our bulletin board that reminds me of some great lessons that life offers up. It is titled, “in This Home,” and I truly hope this simple list defines our home. Originally, I thought it was directed towards our children. But I’ve quickly realized that the sweet reminders are also directed to us as parents and spouses too. Here are a few of my favorites and how they apply in our home.

in This Home… 

We do second chances – 

· for kids…Second chances to ask mom or dad for something ‘with a big girl voice and with manners’.

· as a parents…Second chances to rethink our decisions and decide if they are fair.

· as a wife…Second chances to ask my husband for something ‘with a big girl voice and with manners’!

We do grace –  I best understand grace, as compared to mercy. Mercy is not getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.

· for kids…Something as simple as getting that coveted dessert, even on a night when they didn’t finish dinner.

· as a parent…Getting that unconditional love and sweet snuggle at the end of the day from our children, even when we have not showed them our best as a parent.

· as a wife…Getting that smile that speaks so many words and a tight hug from my man, even when I have not showed him my best as a spouse.

We do real –

· for kids…What kid doesn’t do real? That’s one of their best qualities. Don’t ever ask a seven year old if they like your haircut unless you want their honest opinion.

· as a parent…Not hiding our mistakes and faults.

· as a spouse…Realizing how many more faults we have than our spouse and still humbly showing up every day and trying to love better than the day before.

We do mistakes – 

· for kids… One of my favorite points of the article reminds us that the unconditional love we can show our children is the “scaffolding that encourages your child to take chances, to experiment, and to fail without judgment.” Mistakes are okay. We just have to teach our children to make the most of them.

· as parents…Where do I begin? I loose my patience way.too.often.  And, we tell our kids to make smart choices, but we parents even make poor choices sometimes. Like I said, I’m thankful they are resilient and forgiving.

· as a wife.…I get tired, and when I get tired, I get snippy. I can be rude. I can momentarily forget how much I love the man in front of me. I can forget we are actually on the same team.

We do I’m sorrys – 

· for kids…These happen every day in our house. For hitting. For taking. For tones of voice and words that sting. Seems that the worst offenses are the most difficult to own. We are trying to teach our kids the difference between being sorry and apologizing. Being sorry means you wish it didn’t happen. Apologizing means you own up to the offense and are truly remorseful.

· as parents…What better example can we set than to apologize to our children and take responsibility for our own offenses?

· As spouses…Again, we need to set an example by apologizing to each other in front of our children when appropriate. Especially as our kids grow older, I hope they see our many faults and our need for forgiveness. Every marriage needs mounds of forgiveness and grace, and our kids need to see that reality.

We do loud really well – 

· for kids…Our children are no exception – they do loud really well. We often have to remind them that there is no need to shout. The person they are speaking to is in the same room.

· as parents…I ask my kids to not yell from a different room if they want to speak to me. They can walk to the room I’m in and and speak to me. My seven year old reminds me, often, of the same thing.

· As spouses…Okay, here’s one we’re pretty good at. We aren’t that loud. But you know all is well in our house when music is blasting over the speakers.

We do love – 

· for kids…Little ones thrive on being loved. And they are darn good at dishing it out too.

· as parents…One minute I can’t wait to put them to bed. The next, I can’t get enough of them. What can I say…I never imagined I could know such love.

· as a wife…I’ve loved my husband since I was 18.  But every day, child, challenge, argument, and glass of wine together on the patio builds on that love in new ways.  I look forward to all the steps backwards we take together as parents…and the giant leaps forward that result.

If I made some custom additions to this list for our family, they would be as follows: In this home…We do lots of pizza. We do tears. We do snuggles. We do things that make our mothers nervous. We do things that make our mothers proud. But, really, when it comes down to it…

in This Home…as long as we do love well, we will all continue to grow in sweet wonder and discovery together.

Mar 6

Deck the Halls?

I hadn’t planned on posting another entry so soon. But I had a few personal thoughts about Lent and figured I would go ahead and share…

Lent is here. This church season doesn’t exactly usher itself in with excitement like the Christmas season, does it? No one is decking the halls 40 days before Easter (as much as Target would like us to). The beginning of the Christmas season (Advent) is filled with lots of merry, hot chocolate and anticipation of a joyful holiday season. Not sure about you, but I haven’t gotten any beautiful Lent cards with families posed on the beach. Perhaps that’s because during Lent, our faith experiences the lowest of lows before we celebrate the highest of highs on Easter Sunday. Our God, in the flesh, had to die a painful and humiliating death on the cross before He triumphantly rose from the dead three days later. But, just like Advent and the Christmas season, Lent is also an important season of anticipation. Instead of anticipating the miraculous birth of Christ, we are anticipating the even more shocking and miraculous resurrection of Christ.

During Lent, we are encouraged to spend time reflecting on God and searching out those areas of needed repentance. After all, a risen Christ is a bit more meaningful when you can put your finger on a few solid reasons you need His forgiveness. It’s a tradition during Lent ‘to give something up’. I say tradition because you won’t find any red letters in the Bible with Jesus telling us to give something up for Lent. As a matter of fact, there isn’t anything in the Bible telling us to give something up for Lent. But, in my humble opinion, there’s nothing wrong with human tradition if it brings us closer to God. I look at the practice of giving something up in two different ways, neither of which has the point of deprivation in itself.

The first reason I would understand giving something up for Lent is to experience a bit more ‘want’ in our lives. When I run out of a certain product at the grocery store, I just go buy more. I realize that I am incredibly blessed to not have to experience much ‘want’. Perhaps by giving up chocolate, for instance, for the 40 days of Lent, one can experience want and desire in a new way. And eating the ears off that chocolate bunny on Easter Sunday is all the sweeter as you celebrate and relish in the life of abundance that Christ offers us.

The second reason (and my preferred motivation) to consider giving something up for Lent has nothing to do with deprivation either. Instead, I like the idea of making more room for God. Yes, we can certainly benefit from this practice year-round. But, by giving something up for Lent that takes up time or emotional energy, I can make more room for God in my day. Or perhaps giving something up might allow space and time to take on a new spiritual discipline like daily prayer or spending time in scripture. For instance, giving up social media might alleviate a good bit of time in one’s day for contemplation and prayer. Each time I think about checking Facebook, I could, instead, spend an extra moment enjoying being in the presence of God, examining myself, or maybe even praying for guidance as to how I can better love and serve those around me. Luckily, Sunday is a day of rest and feasting (a so-called free day in Lent), so I could still check my Facebook to see if anyone has posted a good Justin Timberlake video or potty trained their child.

Anyone who has ever stayed in our guest bedroom knows that because of the multitude of windows, the light shines bright way too early in the morning. In addition, our most recent guest commented that the abundance of natural light shows a few too many imperfections as she looks in the mirror. I will tell you that any one else only sees her beautiful face. But it made me think…Jesus is the Light. Perhaps by letting in a little more Light each day during the 40 days of Lent, I will find a few (or a lot) more imperfections. But on Easter Sunday, I will, no doubt, be beautiful in God’s eyes. Perhaps the warm sunlight in March and April will be my reminder that, metaphorically speaking, I’m going to deck the halls of my soul with His Light over the next 40 days of Lent.

Mar 4

Deep and Wide

I’ve thought a lot about what I would want my first real entry on my blog to be. I want to share with you some of what has been on my heart and mind over the past year. And, hopefully, I’ll get some new inspiration too. I wrote these words in mid-February. I think that this piece is part of what inspired me to create my blog because it reminded me of how much I am loved by God and why I like the notion of being ‘Rooted’. The Ephesians verses (Ephesians 3:17-19) that inspired my blog title influenced this writing as well. As a matter of fact, now that I review them, I have realized that verse made its way into several pieces this past year that I will share with you…a fitting start as I introduce you to Rooted. You are welcome here at Rooted no matter what your faith. And if God isn’t your thing…I hope you will still stick with me. I believe He loves everybody.

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“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16.  If I’m being honest, I would have to tell you that I’ve never really been crazy about this verse. I feel like it might be blasphemy just to think that. Seems like it’s a flagship verse in the Bible, and I hope you will not take offense if this verse is special to you. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think my silly issue with the verse is that I felt at times like it was overused. When I was a teenager, struggling with my priorities and how much I was ready to commit to God, I heard this verse over and over again. I may be risking getting struck by lightening here, but that familiar verse in the book of John began to feel trite to me. I need to be clear that I’m sure these specific Holy Words no doubt speak directly to many people…just not me. I do not doubt the power of the Word. Especially not the Word that became flesh. Perhaps for me, eternal life just wasn’t the sell.

You see, I’m kind of short sighted. I tend to be more influenced by the now (like today), not the thought of eternity. And in the now, I’m driven by love, by being loved. So that’s why when our pastor, Martin, at Christ Church Santa Fe, read this verse in a sermon from Ecclesiastes that focused on being in love with God, I heard it in a different light.

Martin noted, emphatically, that it is impossible to find Truth without being in love with God. He reminded us that just knowing mechanisms of theology, like justification by faith, does not bring us salvation. Our salvation does not come through our wisdom, certainly not through our efforts at righteousness. Instead, said Martin, we have to radically commit to loving God before leaning into these works (that are not bad in themselves). I was beautifully reminded that our God, the Creator of the Universe, is a person who shows up, whether we do or not. He loves us first. And when we show up, the love that abounds in our hearts is immeasurable…in the now and for eternity.

I write a lot about the people I love, but on the week I wrote these words, which happened to coincide with Valentines Day, I enjoyed focusing on being loved by my God. I just prefer the verse that inspired this blog. Through Ephesians 3:17-19, I am drawn by the wide and long and high and deep love of Christ. But that just didn’t fit on the back of youth retreat t-shirts as easily as John 3:16.

And it’s only in this Perfect Love that we can, in turn, love – with our whole hearts – our neighbors, our spouses, our best friends. I really like this quote by Caroline Coleman in her A Chapter a Day Blog on 1 Corinthians 13: “Because here’s the good news. LOVED is patient, LOVED is kind. LOVED is not rude…” That’s the goal anyways.

You know what 1 Corinthians says shortly there after? Love never ends. And here we are back at eternity. Jesus is Love. Maybe I need to give John 3:16 another chance. I just need to focus on the first half of the verse.

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“I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” -Ephesians 3:17-19

Mar 2

Out There

I am doing something I thought I would never do. I am creating a blog.  I am not creating a blog because I think you will love my writing.  I am creating a blog because I love to write. Quite often, my heart overflows in words, and until I get them down, it’s hard to focus on anything else. I just discovered in 2013 that I like to write.  I think I came out of a 7+ year fog of pregnancies, newborns, and infants.  Who knows what I’ll do when I break out of this twin toddler phase! Anyways, this past year, I was inspired to write, in the style of a journal, about specific topics. But as the words hit the paper, I immediately wanted to share my heart with loved ones. I love to share my heart, and I’ve learned that I do it much better through writing than verbal communication.  I started out e-mailing specific entries to friends, but honestly, I’m tiring of deciding whom I will share entries with and actually getting up the nerve to e-mail them.  Now, with a blog, I can just put it out there. You should know that I am nervous. I do better one-on-one with people.  So, sharing, en masse, is daunting.

I have titled my blog ‘Rooted’.  Because I want everything I do, say, or write (whether or not it has anything to do with my faith) to be driven by the fact that I am rooted in love, specifically the love of Christ.  My blog’s title refers to one of my favorite verses – “… And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have the power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:17-19) And on the days when I can even begin to grasp how grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, I know a peace and a joy that truly does surpass all knowledge and fills me to the measure. And that same deep peace and joy is my prayer for my friends. My family. My readers. Please join me if you like.  I’m certainly curious where this new adventure will take us.